April 29th

First I apologize for the quality of this posting (I am still having left vi9sual field deficits About 18 months ago my colleague in our graphics design program wereorganiz9in a c9nferehcef9r our new graduate program in Human-C 0mputer Interaction The conference was to focus on the interaction between art and technology. My pr8maray responsibility was to find a keynote speaker who would focus on the Technology side. For obvious reas0ns, Randy Pausch was my first choice. For more obvious reasons he was unable to participate. At that time I came across the posting of his last lecture and realized the tremendous similarities between our lives. It wasn’t until the Primetime special with Diane Sawyer that those similarities became even more obvious. First and foremost we are both diagnosed with terminal cancer but even more important we are both living out amazing love stories that have and continue to have profound effects on our lives.
The other inspiration for me to write this is that over the past three weeks Michael Sylvester has mentioned that he will have time for three farewells. Given my diagnosis Glialblastoma Multiform IV, my decline can be quite sudden and leave me with fairly reduced cognitive abilities.
There are just a few parting remarks I wanted to make First from Randy’ Last Lecture. Don’t change your life. The bucket list is stupid. Do what you would normally do. Enjoy each day as you would have before your diagnosis. Draw strength from your family, friends, colleagues and the things that would normally have given you pleasure. The only thing we are doing different is a vacation at an all inclusive resort that is designed more for my physical recovery from my surgery and an opportunity for our grown children (20 & 23 to have an opportunity to enjoy them in that type of environment and for all of us to be pampered.
The Big picture
Like many of you I started graduate school with the goal of getting a job at an R1 school making significant scientific contributions to cognitive psychology. (I must admit I originally planned on being a clinician) While a graduate student I was introduced to Human Factors and Human Computer interaction and felt I could make a much more significant contribution in those disciplines which I did for 15 years. With the fluctuation of the economy and the defense budget and a dual career family I jumped at an opportunity at a local state University teaching job. I must admit that initially AI was not sure I made the smart decision. It wasn’t until the end of my first year when I completed teaching my cognition lab course (a requirement for the major. I had one not very remarkable but extremely hard working student who was the first member of her extended family, hot only to graduate but to attend college. After the ceremony when she brought everyone to meet me, that was one o the most moving experiences I have ever had. Every semester I have students like that. If I can impact one a year, what more can I accomplish in my life.
As a result of my illness, reduced abilities, I have been spending considerable time talking to my students about things I have not been able to accomplish with them as well as my teaching philosophy. My illness was triggered by a seizure in my office late October. One of the most rewarding things was when returned from that incident and did not yet know I had a tumor. I found one student had nominated me for the president’s award or teaching excellence. This was a student who took two classes that were electives in his major, nothing required in any of the programs I am involved with. Right now I need to evaluate what I will be capable of doing in the fall
To all of you on TIPS andPsychTeach. I can’t thank you enough for the incredible advice I received from you since I returned to the classroom in 1995. I realize my condition is quite specific but I would be happy to share my personal experiences ad I do have an extensive set of MRI scans starting with my initial diagnosis and expect the next round in4 weeks

Catching up

We had a wonderful Sedar. Danielle and Alex were here along with Rhonda's mother (who has been almost a mother to me for he past 25 years. Our niece Cara was also up from NYC and that was also a pleasure. Made us realize we should make a geater effort to have hxer visit us.

Medically I 'm having a minor set back. My platelet count is low so they will not restart the Temedor or the avastine until the levels are back up. Igo for blood tests Friday and we will see. Symptom wise nothing is really changing. a few more headaches bu certainly no worse than before.
I'm stillhaving some left visual field problems. I walked into a barrier by theWegman's pharmacy. Didn't hurtmuch more than mypride but it waas embarasssing took a bike ride withAlex andwaited tolong,itgot pretty hot so Iquit halfwaythrough which I thoughtwas a verygooddecision. problem was when I disconnectedfromthe pedalsIwent thewrongdirectionandtook a small tumble. no injuries, againbesidesmypride. both of those accidents really push tothe forefront my need to make better decisions and paybettteratention. If I amgoing to use mynew(er) road bike Iwill have to practice more with those pedals.

I'vetalked about feeling like I am onarollercoaster. It used to feel like the occilations were daily. Now it seems the ups anddowns are within eachday.

I strongly encourage anyone inasimilar situation to get a hold of last week's AB C PrimeTime withDianSawyer wheresheinter iewsRany Pauchefr onhis CarnagieMellonLast lecture. It agreaat perspective for individuals andfamilies facing a terminalillness. Hisapproachmake so muchsense. He also has a book, The LastLecture. It is a bit diffficulto getnow bu well worth it. If you want,Icanburn theDVDfor you; Again well worth it exspecially if you aredealing with a terminal inllness andhav a family. After you have watchedtheshow or read thebookIwouldlove to talke to you about it.a

With love and constant hope

Gary

opthomologist

saw the opthomologist today. no optic nerve damage although there is definite deficit in my left visual field. Iwill need new Glass, and dedicated sun glasses an to make sure I have glasses for bike riding. Otherwise everything looks ok limitations in my peripheral vision should not afffect my abiilty to dive

Bike riding

Although I have been out on quick rides around my neighborhood to check out my balance. I seem to be doing well and am ready for the next step. a more ambitious 10 mile ride mostly flat. Sound advice from the smartest person I know is to have someone ride with me. Any of you locals looking for a quick ride around Onondaga Lake or Seneca/Oneida rivers let me know. I'll evencome up to Oswego as long as the ride is not too hilly.

Thanks
Gary